Yesterday's Weapons Forums

i have one of those palliated buggers in my area - actually felled one of my dead trees after he pecked clear through the 10" trunk in three places ,

"Alvin & the chipmunks are a hoot!"

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Another creative cake.

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"It'd sure be nice if they'd put a little sauce on the ravioli they set out to cool."

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These cows were soon to learn they should never have gotten into the old van on which was painted, "free hay and salt blocks - for cows only."

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"The ribs were very tasty. Fred." (looks like Fred got in trouble)

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

The Tapir people of Borneo walk among us!

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Training wheels.

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A new way to rev up your cup o' noodles? It might work.

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"I don't care if you just want to monkey around for an hour - you can't borrow my scooter!"

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When you realize you should have taken damage insurance from the boat rental place.

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"Just hand the carrot over, kid and everything's cool."

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"That's the last time I take a double dog dare to lick one of these! YUCK!!"

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"The cat? No - haven't seen him."

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The rare and elusive mud seal.

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"There's your life lesson for the day, kids - never leave butts smoldering in a full ashtray."

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Nap buddies.

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Cheating on diets - the old spaghetti in a book trick gets used a lot.

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Car following too closely alarm.

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Efficiency apartment with all the basics covered... more or less.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"Move it or lose it, sister!"

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C-store prank. Hand the clerk this to pay for a pack o' smokes & a diet root beer.

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"Stop it! You don't lick boogers for your dating profile pic!"

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"What are cats good for? Easy - 3 tacos and a fur cap!"

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When you climb up to the nosebleed shelves to find the book you need is already checked out.

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Creepers - squills get 'em, too.

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1920s biker gang for women - 'Heck's Angels'

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Aftermath of a wild stuffy party.

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"That little bonehead gave me a pop tart filled with ghost pepper!"

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"No - I'm not rolling on the dead fish - I'm burying it! That's my story & I'm sticking to it!"

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This guy apparently didn't get the memo smoking is really bad for you.

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Canned chin-chiller.

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Kiwi and strawberries on a liverwurst sammich? I'm not sure I'd try it.

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Priorities - it's well to have them. (Bucharest, Romania)

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(Not much for decent pics today)

_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"I scoot all the time - just not on the carpet."

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"Tide??? Nobody said anything about that! Shouldn't there be a sign?"

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When dad loses his license and mom can't drive a stick shift...

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"PLEEEZE pull over - I really have to go! And I didn't when we left!"

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"Might as well JUMP!" (jammin' to a van Halen song)

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Camels all made up for a beauty pageant - it's a thing in the desert.

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"Meow... oops, I mean ROOF!"

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

Two hundred thousand hits? We must be doing something right! And it's not all bots, either! SW

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Slava Ukraini!!

Another V-dub camper.

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"So easy a 10 y/o could assemble it." You might need a 10 y/o to show you how it's done.

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"Enough lecture! Let's dissect stuff!"

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"Well, there goes my pantry. Again."

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For sale - 1985 MiG-29. Ran well when I parked it. 10,000 Rubles.

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Option for clients who prefer a really firm massage.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

Yeah, it looks kinda rough, but it starts every time on the first kick.

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"You dummy! I told you not to feed it flaming hot Cheetos!"

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Robert's the worst! (Cuts pieces from the middle.)

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If you need nicotine that bad why not just chew plug tobacco?

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"Your heads are next, piggies!"

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Alternative to noodling - smack 'em a lick!

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Nothing green served with this meal? Perfect!!

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"And over here I'll paint a happy little mouse... who won't be so happy when I bite his little feet off one at a time."

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Dr. making rounds with a therapy turt.

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"Looks tasty, but wouldn't that make me a cannibal?"

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"Well, yeah - it kinda looks like a mud hut, but there's a neat picture window in the family room!"

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Making your own cable at home on the kitchen table.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"I have an idea - put donut sprinkles in with the bird seed!"

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Duck-ups are great for your workout routine. Pro tip - don't feed the duck until you've finished.

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"Caution - telephone zombies!"

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Taking a fakebook squabble to the next level.

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Lots of stop & go traffic on your commute? Try car gardening to relieve the boredom.

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Want a unique tree decoration? Make a spaghetti blub!

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

One of the first things to check if your computey is running slow.

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Turt gang about to mug a gator.

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In ambush mode.

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"My pal the owl showed me some tricks for eating well all winter."

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You probably shouldn't let your lenses get so dirty in the first place.

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"Ha! While they're down at the creek fishing, I'll nick their marshmallows!"

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

2nd last one is actually a coffee travel mug.
Amazon did well selling these until at least a couple of months ago.
They are pretty realistic looking until the cap/lid comes off...

Regards,

Doc Sharptail

_________________
"Ain't no Half-Way" -S.R.V.

"Oh Yeah!.....All Right!" -Paul Simon

"Picked up a rock in my shoe somewhere." (1/3 carat diamond)

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If you have a wooden leg, avoid beavers!

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"I hope somebody busts out of jail soon - the dogs are getting bored."

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"Wear a mask? Yep! Got a good supply of 'em, too!"

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Meanwhile, in a parallel universe...

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"Slice me off half a kilo of disco, please."

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

If you have a wooden leg you should really consider one made of polymer.

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"Oh, sure - that's probably the last roll of TP!"

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When you hack into the neighbor's wi-fi but their cheap router has a weak signal.

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Fun with hamsters!

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"This is my couch cushion fort and nobody else gets in! Well... except people with jerky or bacon."

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"Sure, we'll take a look at your vacuum sweeper. Come on in - we're just getting ready for dinner!"

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"Yep - I'm a unicorn of the sea. Rainbows come out of my butt & the whole bit, but you have to be underwater to see it."

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"About that delivery of catnip and mouse shaped squeak toys... you hacked my new debit card, didn't you?"

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"Bananas, bacon and cheesy sauce." I'm in!

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You got 15 speeding tickets from this camera? You can do this about it... or you could just slow down when going by.

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Remember Alf? He really liked cats.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

Not watching TV? That big spidey in the lampshade is much more interesting.

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In the days before microwaves...

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"How did this happen? I was trying to impress ewe."

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Habitat for a rare and elusive clown snake.

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"I hope you had fun chewing up my rent money... this isn't over!"

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Ten pounds of cat in a 5 pound box.

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"I was framed, see? Well, I'm bustin' out of this cracker box joint!"

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"Yep, I'm in charge - gots a lanyard and everything!"

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A little negative reinforcement will actually help your grade point average.

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Beavers are shameless mooches for anything wooden to chew on the bus.

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"Somebody finally left a little dipping sauce for the fries!"

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Winner winner - chicken dinner!

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"Okay... flaps down - throttle back... (THUD!) Note to self - throttle back more next time!"

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"Chickens are stoopid!"
"And ugly!"
"And stink!" (Duck gangs like to start trouble on the street!)

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"Goofy kid walking along texting and not paying attention? No - haven't seen him."

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Penguin gang war - it's ON!

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"Trash pandas around here are slackers - they missed a lot of good stuff!"

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Looks like those mail order hair restoration pills actually work!

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Meanwhile, in Canada...

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"You have to be more careful entering your PIN - people will see it and hack your account! But not me - you can trust me... so is it case sensitive?"

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!