Yesterday's Weapons Forums

"Stoopid shark! You can't be in the carpool lane!"

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Yoga - homeless enjoy it, too.

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"Oh, come on - just one more cookie?"

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"Hee hee hee, stop it!"

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"Dang! Came in too hot again - looks like another face plant is coming."

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Slava Ukraini!!

that turtle has the same grin that geico lizard has - i just dont trust it

Tenement for owls.

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You've heard of flying squills - there are flying hamsters, too!

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"The force was REALLY with me!"

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On loan from an alien zoo.

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How to genuinely impress your Thanksgiving guests - tattoo the turk before baking it.

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Slava Ukraini!!

"When I get the last few things hooked up, this is gonna ROCK!"

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"Bad news, pal - you're gonna need ear drops!"

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"If you kids can stay out of trouble while I'm at the store, I'll bring you back Pixie Stix."

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"Joan of Arc Crematory"??? That's cold!

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Slava Ukraini!!

"Well, phooey... out of Nutty Buddies again!"

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"Race in this heat? Not today! Tomorrow doesn't look good, either!"

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"Tell us, Mr. Possum - what did you think about the hurricane?"
"Hissssss!"

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Today's cooking tip - how to rev up breakfast.

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We'll also discuss making a pizza to remember!

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This actually works - just don't leave somebody's fence so cattle get out.

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Slava Ukraini!!

You'll need bandages to play this game.

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"It's a kick start hard tail - I'm old school all the way!"

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"Actually, I'm fine, but this toast could use more garlic butter."

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"...And I guess that's why they call it the blues..."

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Some rescue dogs never give up all their homeless habits.

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Slava Ukraini!!

re the cat and the gunshot

most of the T Shirts I have have a hole in the middle of them
I have a cat that wants to be picked up , rubbed on, then put down

put down NOW, and she will put a claw(s) in your chest at a random moment ,



had some folks by the shop a day or so ago, and when they went to move a car, the neighbors new kitteh was around so I snatched it up incase it did a kitteh thing and got crushed,

he squirmed and had a fit, and once the vehicles were moved I put him down and he took off, but no blood drawn,

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What's so funny about Peace Love and Understanding?

"I'll nick just enough for a bucket of chicken and take it easy today."

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Back in the day, women could turn the seat around and yak with their pals in the back without getting a sore neck. (61 Buick)

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"Ha! Stoopid cat thinks he put the sneak on me!"

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"I love this movie!"

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Pro bowlers like to stay in top form while camping.

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Slava Ukraini!!

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"Ain't no Half-Way" -S.R.V.

"Oh Yeah!.....All Right!" -Paul Simon

All the years we had cats, for my kids, I never rally got clawed, helps too we had them declawed.
BUT......when I was a senior in HS my mom got a kitten. She liked to be picked up and sometimes, when standing, rather then bending down I would pat the side of my leg and she'd jump up, hooking her little claws in my jeans then I'd reach down and hold her. Her claws would sometimes lightly poke my leg, nothing more then a mild pinch.
One day I was cooking something at the stove and she came over meowing to be picked up, again as usual I patted the side of my leg and as usual she jumped up and hooked onto my leg and as I reached down to grab her I realized I was just in my skivvies as the pain was reaching my brain. As gingerly as possible I tried to unlatch her from my leg, had 18 nice little puncture marks.

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My protests...
"Down with neck lines, Up with skirts!"
Dr. Frankenstein was a body builder.
FJB

"w00t! Please pass the tartar sauce!"

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"So if I rent your spare bedroom I can have friends over, right?"

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"I tld them if they were good all week I'd take them to the C-store for croutons and Yoo Hoos."

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"Yikes! Bad news, pal - I found a louse!!"

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"Stoopid bird! This is a seals only beach!"

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"You little loser - you key my ride, I'll come down and bite your arm off! I am NOT joking!"

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Outhouse racing is big in eastern Europe. The object is to knock the other guy's outhouse off the sled until only one is left. Big fun! Big after party!

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Slava Ukraini!!

wonder when they will get indoor plumbing ?

Extremely mobile mobility scooter.

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Waste of a good cookie!

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When others have been giving your waffle the eye and you have to leave the room...

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Hold still, pal - it's a really big tick!"

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"When you've had it with work and tell yourself, "No excuses - I AM going camping!"

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"Objects in mirror are closer than they appear."

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Slava Ukraini!!

the object is a dogs ass - not what i want closer

"I heard if we peck on the back door, they'll let us in and we can go to work right away."

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"Hurry up and take the pic - I can't hold this pose all day!"

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V-dub concept car.

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Potty training little Al was quite an ordeal for his mom.

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Ducks go bonkers for karaoke.

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Slava Ukraini!!

"Foodies welcome here!"

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"Hmmm... that's a pretty simple PIN. I could withdraw some walking around money and blame it on the cat!"

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Wichita Falls... and does a nasty face plant.

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For when you know it's going to take a while...

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"Well, you can kiss my furry little butt!"

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Slava Ukraini!!

Something new for your Barbie collection - the Barbie MRI. "Want a Xanax before we start, Barbie?"

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"Okay - one more vigorous jump and I should have your back problems fixed!"

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"For an extra $2.50 you can get a wax down at the gator wash.

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The lasagna that leaves your breath fresh and minty!

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"Oh, don't wig out, lady - everybody gets a louse once in a while."

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"Give me some of the yellow... and don't get cheap on me!"

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Slava Ukraini!!

Porsche paper clips - much classier than the Ford variety.

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V-dub sausage - it's... cheap.

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Item from a 1950 nuke survival kit - canned vodka. (seriously)

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Sold by the major branding iron company.

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Nap buddies 4 ever!

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Slava Ukraini!!

"Okay, you can have my jerky - just don't pee on the windshield again!"

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"That was pretty cool - let's go see what the electric fence does to your hair!"

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"Go as deep as you can - I hate ticks up my nose!"

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Mud skippers love to sing doo-wop.

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Spitting cobras would be a lot worse if they chewed snoose or plug tobacco.

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Slava Ukraini!!

I liked this program but it was cancelled when the cast became extinct.

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"Waugh! Twelve horses riding fast - might be a war party!" (a seldom seen scout bird)

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"Word on the street is there's a crow around - I better keep a lookout!"

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"Dang! Stuck in rush hour traffic again!"

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Where V-dubs go to die.

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Graboids - the menace is real!

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Slava Ukraini!!