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Dearest Redneck son Billy Bob,
I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live
where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most
accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last West Virginia family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure about
it. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them
since.
The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time
for three days and the second time for four days.
About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle?Pa said it would be too
heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because
it took him two hours to get me and your father out.
Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet
so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle.
Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull
him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated, he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down!
There isn't much more news Billy Bob at this time. Nothing much out of the
normal has happened.
Your Favorite Aunt,
Mom
_________________
....Naj puška govori!....
.............deplorable typical "bitter clinger"....
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