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 Post subject: Two cows...
PostPosted: Thu Feb 20, 2014 1:20 pm 
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Теперь предлагаем бесплатную ежедневную маммографию!
Теперь предлагаем бесплатную ежедневную маммографию!
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Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2007 9:04 pm
Posts: 11655
Location: On the couch a lot now that I'm retired
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour


COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk


FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk


NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you


BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk away


TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy
grows.
You sell them and retire on the income


ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.


SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.


AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
the cow has dropped dead.


A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.


A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three
cows.


A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
market it worldwide.


AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.


A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.


A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.


AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.


A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.


AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.


AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.


A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive... :-o SW

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 Post subject: Re: Two cows...
PostPosted: Thu Feb 20, 2014 8:24 pm 
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Brigadier General
Brigadier General
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Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2007 9:26 am
Posts: 18522
Location: Minnesota , USA
aahhhhhhhhh , not so sure that last one is funny to the cows , they are fighting to get to the right


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 Post subject: Re: Two cows...
PostPosted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 12:20 am 
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Gunnery Sergeant
Gunnery Sergeant

Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2012 11:03 pm
Posts: 206
That's great stuff!! LOL!


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 Post subject: Re: Two cows...
PostPosted: Tue Feb 25, 2014 10:19 am 
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Master Sergeant
Master Sergeant
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Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2012 5:14 pm
Posts: 256
Location: Oshawa
Not to highjack your post, but as long as we're talking about cows ...

Did you hear about NASA sending several cows into Low Earth Orbit? It was the herd shot round the world.

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Them that know, know that they know. Them that don't know don't know they don't know.


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 Post subject: Re: Two cows...
PostPosted: Tue Feb 25, 2014 8:28 pm 
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Brigadier General
Brigadier General
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Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2007 9:26 am
Posts: 18522
Location: Minnesota , USA
nice one .... :lol


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 Post subject: Re: Two cows...
PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 12:54 am 
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Major
Major
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Joined: Sat Aug 04, 2007 1:02 am
Posts: 1084
Location: Florida
ISRAEL COWS
You buy two cows for $100, insure them for $500
You slaughter them, sell the meat, then collect the insurance.


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