Yesterday's Weapons Forums

i bet peddling up steep hills is fun ..................NOT

"We gonna have mom cook these?"
"Maybe. Might be more fun to sneak them into grandpa's bed at night, though."

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"Stoopid goat! Always acting all cute to get more breakfast!"
"Well, you would, too if you weren't such a jerk, cat."

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"Back off! That lady was throwing these just for me!"

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Stuffies are skurred of sharks.

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"What are cats good for? About 3 tacos and a fur hat."

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"That peanut butter cup was pretty tasty - may I have another?"

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Slava Ukraini!!

Given currents, I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to lift pics from Russian sites. But I'll keep after it until they bonk. SW

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Slava Ukraini!!

In prehistoric times, ducks were apex predators.

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"How am I supposed to sing along if you can't play anything without thumbs?"

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In the beginning, Joan of Arc was a real fashion trend setter.

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"Want to learn how to sucker punch somebody? Okay - close your eyes."

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Looks like it's not time to wash the bedspread yet.

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When Aunt Geraldine catches a ride with you, and you won't drive as fast as she wants...

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Nap buddies - fruit bats love 'em, too.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

if need be we could start a new funnies II and lift stuff from italian sites or somethin ????>

If you know of specific sites, I'm game. SW

_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

#1 is killer.

I am still going to enjoy next duck soup, when we get it!

Regards,

Doc Sharptail

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"Ain't no Half-Way" -S.R.V.

"Oh Yeah!.....All Right!" -Paul Simon

Manage the retirement account - you're doing it wrong.

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"Turt's my homie - not much of a nap buddy but he listens to me complain and only eats green stuff."

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You really can't say you've caught it until it's in the skillet.

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"I should actually be wearing goggles for this."

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"Put some of that on my pasta - more gravy, too!"

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"Who you calling a dumb waiter??"

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How to tell the barista thinks you should leave better tips.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"Note to self: have a better escape plan next time I tease the leopard."

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"I was going to hang out with my pals all day, but noooo. Work on the nest, she sez. Phooey!"

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"Okay - we get up air speed... then what? "

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"If you cats can be quiet until they leave, then we can knock the trash over and load up!"

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"Stoopid creepers! Can't I have a little privacy for once?!"

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Tim Horton donuts are kinda greasy and don't hold frosting well. Still pretty tasty, eh?

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Slava Ukraini!!

Sugar buzz in 3... 2... 1...

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"How come you're going back to the nest so early?"
"My aunt's sick."
"Again?"
"I have a lot of aunts."

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"You think I shoplifted something and hid it under my shirt? No... just itching a flea bite. And no, you can't search me!"

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"This should make a great dating profile pic - chicks like guys with long whiskers."

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Bored at work? Making one of these will pass the time.

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"In drought years, you gotta take what you can find."

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Love really fresh sushi but can't stand rice or tofu? This might work.

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Slava Ukraini!!

_________________
"Ain't no Half-Way" -S.R.V.

"Oh Yeah!.....All Right!" -Paul Simon

"Mom, is the ocean supposed to smell like a urinal?"

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Where bicycles go to die.

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"When trouble is near I am not slow - it's up - up - up and awaaaaaay I go!"

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Things to do with the junk yard you just inherited.

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Even if somebody triple dog dares you or says you'll be a Tik Tok star, do NOT get in the washing machine!

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Forget electric eels - fire snakes are the worst!

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

Just the ticket for short camping trips.

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"That looks like fun, lady - got an extra pair of yoga pants so I can try?"

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When retirement is boring and you happen to have 2 million matchsticks in a storage shed...

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"Yeah, I ordered extra whitening toothpaste already - what do you recommend for straightening my whiskers?"

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Sneaky way to cut the cake so you get more tenderloin.

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"Sorry little guy - the water's pretty hard around here so you better wear a helmet."

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Toto discovered break dancing is a lot more fun than the hokey-pokey.

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"Cat in the hat? No - don't have that one. How about owl in the towel instead?"

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Noodling alligators is best left to the pros.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

Wile E. Coyote was here.

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Swimming at the nuke plant - don't.

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"Yeah, I've got bridge-o-phobia, too and this is really creeping me out!"

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Math problem: Q) If there are on the average 1.73 tarantulas per hand of bananas, how many hands will it take to arrive at a whole number of spideys? A) A lot!

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Craving cabbage burgers for dinner? There's a vending machine at the arcade.

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"It's too chilly to monkey around out here today - let's go home and watch cartoons."

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Required gear for n00b skateboarders - big box o' Bandaids.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"Hey, squill! We nicked all the good stuff again! Neener!!"

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Workaround for people who struggle using chopsticks.

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"I like this part where Tom smacks the mouse with a..."
"Hey! No spoilers!"

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Looks like grandpa's in trouble again.

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Made these with black bread rye dough? Sure - let's go with that.

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Gift idea for your fave nerd. (Yes, you can text with it, but it takes forever.)

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

It's a smooth vacation ride, but you're pretty much limited with side trips.

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Toasting marshmallows - the trick is not holding them too close to the fire.

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"Life without McDonalds." This was a Russky demotivator relating to McD's no longer doing biz in Russia.

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"I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a quart of ants today!"

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"Yeah, but I didn't rear end the truck loaded with dynamite!"

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Tea parties - a cool hat is everything.

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"Couldn't find any old stogies today so I guess half a butt will have to do... save me some!"

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

Back in steam train days, stokers were supposed to cook for themselves and the hogger.

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Killing spideys - don't mess around with spray poison, smack 'em a lick with your shoe!

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Making your own wine - do not fail to vent the bottle.

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"Snuff, snuff - I know what you're doing in there!"

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Not a good idea to blow your horn when geese are flying closely over.

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When bees get depressed and want to end it all...

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"I'm not ready to go yet - can't find my sandals."

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Share your herring with a seal - get a smacker!

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Spring horse - just the ticket for rounding up those unruly spring cows. "Yippie-ki-yay!"

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Jumping with your bike - plot the trajectory carefully!

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Bacon pop? Sure, I'd try it once.

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Cappuccino chips might pair well with bacon pop.

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"I was relieved to find the hissing sound wasn't a tire going flat. Wasn't so relieved when it bit me."

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

that bite would result in rabies shots here , no fun at all dont ask , unless you killed the bugger and let them study the hear i hear , they are prevalent here and i avoid those that seem to have no fear , when they play dead they are not and yes they hiss but yes they do bite too , mouthful of teeth and powerful jaws , they eat junk and i think at least a tetnus would be in order - maybe more - i doubt the damn flu shot will protect you - it doesnt protect you from the flu

"Dang! I thought he was wearing a wig I could nick for my nest!"

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Rat tractor.

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Cutting edge stuff from the days before cell phones. Combo wrist watch, radio, TV and calculator... but no phone.

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Blowing butt @ -30 degrees... people will know.

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For the realist - bathroom deodorizer that smells like burned matches.

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This was captioned, "platter of Oreos for photographers"

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This variety wasn't too bad. The green ones were actually pretty tasty, but the grey kind for erasing ink were too gritty. Library paste should be an actual condiment - good stuff!

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"I'm a baby snapping turt, and I'm a little meanie!"

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Slava Ukraini!!