Yesterday's Weapons Forums

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"Bite harder, Whitey - I bet a fiver you'd win!"

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Cooking penguin - you'll need a lot of horseradish and hot sauce.

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Nobody on this crew has restless leg syndrome.

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Tired of people blowing up your phone? Get one of these blow up proof models!

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Where toilets go to die.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

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Caption for above:

"Hey! How about a little warning before you brake that hard!!"

_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

That works.
If we're doing captions, how about...

Car babes have evolved some since 1935.

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Buff had so many parasites, the tick pecker bird needed a break to hydrate.

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"You want another bug already? You must have a hollow leg!"

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Cousin Eddy's first RV.

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Low sodium - no sugar - gluten free... what's not to like?

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Canned donuts in rum sauce - only in Canada!

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Blueberry burgers? I'm not sure about that one.

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Radio cap from the 50s or 60s. AM only, but it you stood on one foot while touching the fridge you could pick up FM stations.

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Christmas dilemma back in the day - little Al liked to chew candles.

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Lugging an old school typewriter and supplies around would be inconvenient, but apparently being a hipster is its own reward.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

Shark feeding frenzies are nothing compared to what monks do.

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"I've got inside info for the horse races," he said.
"We can double what we've saved up!" he said.
"You cand have a washer AND dryer!" he said.

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Maybe not these specific three, but it's a viable concept.

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"Yes, dear - I'm cleaning the mess I made cooking supper!"

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Polite ducks wear diapers when shopping.

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"How come you're wigging out? It was just stoopid onions - they're the worst!"

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"While they're fighting over who gets the melon, I'll grab it and run!"

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"Aha! My fave cartoon! I'll make the bed later."

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These people must be huge tippers for Uber Eats to deliver here.

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Looks like the baboons trashed their dish again.

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When it's really cold, people will know you let one rip.

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Drumstick basket from Kentucky Fried Robin.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"Ha! Rookie jailer missed a hairpin - I'll be home in time for happy hour!"

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"No sour cream on mine, please!"

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Job security - this guy has it.

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Swimming lessons for a sloth.

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In Japan when robots scab on door dash and uber eats, they get a lot of rude graffiti painted on them.

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What song is going through this guy's head?
"With the rain in my shoes", of course!

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Nap buddies - Lapland style.

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"It's a great party and all, but these hot wings are kinda bland."

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

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The early bird gets the worm - the early squill gets donuts with sprinkles.

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St. Wendell - patron of wasps, hornets and sweat bees.

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"Okay - we make a wish and pull. If you get the head, your wish will come true."

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"Sorry, moose - I know it's hunting season, but you can't hang out here. The nice game wardens will take you back to the wild."

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"Red is hot - black is not." Don't hook the cables up backward!

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Bunion proof shoes.

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To keep your dog from nosing through the trash, sprinkle it with ghost pepper. (Taking it to the dumpster works, too.)

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"I can't stuff my cheeks like a chipmunk - got a to-go bag so I can have a couple later?"

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Argentine rodeos - you get bonus points for not screaming.

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Race car designers finally discovered a way drivers wouldn't eat the supercharger when their engine exploded.

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Shopping takes a lot of energy. Some folks like to stop for a bowl or two of cereal before checking out.

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City of Bangkok is interviewing for a lineman. Must have extreme OCD about neatness.

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"I TOLD you if you didn't take small bites, chew thoroughly and not gulp your dinner in one huge bite, you'd choke. You never listen to me!"

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

Like really fresh honey but don't want to get stung? Here's a place you'd like!

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Horse meat flavored chips? I'll pass on that one.

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Nap buddies with spears don't work out well.

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"You want us to believe you're a cat, eh? All right... what's the secret password?"

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Device free dinner is an alien concept to some people.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

Office furniture from Jabba the Hutt's fortress.

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Gun control will never work. These monstrosities were taken from street gangs in Sao Paulo, Brazil.

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Lassie would need to save Timmy from becoming an evil scientist with his atomic energy set. (contained actual radioactive material)

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Gnomes earn walking around money from people charging their phones and e-scooters.

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You'd think cats are smarter than that...

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A proper breakfast!

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Toilet paper not needed in this outhouse.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"Silly people cut these open and throw away the good part."

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Sherbet beer??? I'm not sure about that one.

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"Dang! While I was trying to decide which one I wanted, they got away again!"

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Another option for leftovers - turk jello!

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The rare and elusive Siberian baboon.

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"You can just drop me off at the C-store, Barbie - I'm out of jalapeno jerky and smokes."

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"If you don't take these out right NOW, they'll be imbedded in your butt!"

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

_________________
"Ain't no Half-Way" -S.R.V.

"Oh Yeah!.....All Right!" -Paul Simon

"You're giving me a timed test? Seriously?"

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When it's cold and snowing and you just ran out of smokes.

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Better run for it, kid - they've almost got you surrounded!

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"Man! If I can squeeze out of here, there's a half-eaten burger and full bag o' fries in that car!"

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Farmer turt.

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You can tow 4 skiers with this... fast!

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

Can't afford a big bike? You can still bump your street creds a little by putting ape hangers on your e-scooter.

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"Oh, sure - I hit the snooze button ONE time and miss breakfast entirely!"

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"Well, there goes my diet!"

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There's the reason those piggy squeak toys have buggy eyes!

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This is what happens if EVERYBODY on the top 5 floors has a waterbed and they all jump on them at once.

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To be fair, it was a REALLY clean door.

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Some people totally love onions. (I'm not one of them)

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But turk & gravy pop makes up for it!

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

The Mad Max concept has been around for a long time.

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Presentation - making an ordinary meal appear special.

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Boiling KFC bones to make soup stock - now that's thrift!

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"When I'm at the dentist, I'll ask what he recommends to whiten teeth."

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If you ask for tips like this, you're going to get a lot of chewed gum and butts in your tip jar.

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"I saw you smooching with that seal - you're dead to me now!"

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!