Yesterday's Weapons Forums

Fatten her up about 100 more pounds and she's Steins wet dream!

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My protests...
"Down with neck lines, Up with skirts!"
Dr. Frankenstein was a body builder.
FJB

"It's raining so we'll have to dry our laundry and fruit bats inside today."

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Oz - where spideys are so big they carry handbags.

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Dave was never invited camping with his pals again.

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"The 8 sammiches that were in here? No - haven't seen 'em."

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"Come back in about an hour - I should have your wingtip sandals done then."

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Great Christmas novelty gift idea!

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Cheating at poker. The old duck up your sleeve to pass you aces trick.

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Slava Ukraini!!

Close up pics of gators - you'll need a long lens.

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You can run nitrous in your V-dub... but not for long.

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"No kiddie pool here, but this will work for cooling off."

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"Well, if you bring me a strawberry, you can practice aircraft carrier landings on my back."

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"Let me know when she's not looking. I'll hotwire this sucker, and we can go cruise for seal babes!"

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Slava Ukraini!!

Obscure Star Wars trivia - C3P0 liked Turkish menthol smokes.

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"We need helmets, seat belts and a roll bar? Not if we don't crash!"

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Uber Eats won't deliver here so I have to go get my own fast food."

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How to convince your duck it shouldn't poop in the house.

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"AC/DC isn't too bad, but I like Metallica a lot better."

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I like the pic but can't think of a caption.

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Slava Ukraini!!

"The nick on my ear? I kinda got carried away with fast draw drills."

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"There! If I can keep squills away this should last the winter!"

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"If you're going to the mall, would you grab me some styling mousse? My hair's a fright."

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"So does this mean I've got an alien growing inside me?!"

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"If Ican get the gas turned on I'll whip me up a nice walnut omelet."

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Slava Ukraini!!

What condiments go well on a rat sammich? Mouse-tard?

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"Save the neck for me, lady!"

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"Here's the plan, Bambi - you knock the lid off that trash can and I'll give you all the apples in it... if there are any."

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"Warp 4, Mr. Chekov - engage!" (when ducks play Star Trek, they always have to be Cap'n Kirk)

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"Stop acting all happy, you little goof - our species doesn't do that!"

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Slava Ukraini!!

"If you hogged down all the walnuts, I'll chew your tail off!"

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"Dear, tell me again why we HAD to vacation in Australia."

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"Hmmm... looks like it's time to toss my socks in the washer."

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"I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a penguin today!" (leopard seal)

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So... still want to be a vet tech?

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That looks pretty good - do my dating profile pic next!"

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Slava Ukraini!!

"Lady, I heard you tell the kid if he didn't straighten up, you'd feed him to the gators... you were serious, right?"

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You can always tell newlyweds - the new wifey makes them a BIG lunch!

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Cousin Itt of the Addams family is from this country.

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"Don't get on the gas too hard - I'm not sure we have enough to make it to the C-store."

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"Play something by Elton John, and we'll sing along!"

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"I'll trade you the rest of these flaming hot Cheetos for a couple smokes."

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Slava Ukraini!!

"Don't mess with it, you dummy - it's covered with stingers!"

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"I'll have a decaf, soy milk latte with extra tofu extract, pardner. Yippie-ki-yay!"

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"So I like to raid the bakery dumpster - don't judge me!"

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"We bring him to the beach so he can pretend he's a penguin."

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"I found sea shells, Mom!"
"Yes, you did - a whole family of pistachio clams."

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Seals don't share worth a darn.

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"You're sure there are no monsters under the bed, cat? Okay - check the closet, too!"

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Slava Ukraini!!

"It's okay, lady - he's old enough in possum years to buy plug tobacco."

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Air guitar - frog style.

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Love is - not chewing gum with your mouth open.

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In Mongolia you better check that your scooter permit is up to date.

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Professional tick pecker birds also listen for internal parasites.

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This restaurant offers a 10% discount if you have a device free dinner. Actually not a bad idea.

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Slava Ukraini!!

"If bears come sniffing around, you haven't seen us, 'k?"

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Putting your pet in a kennel for hunting season can get expensive.

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Taking pics at an archery match - choose your vantage point wisely.

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"Ha! I TOLD 'em this joint couldn't hold me!"

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Marketing genius? Perhaps not.

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"Sniiiiifffff, ahhh! Smells just like transmission grease!"

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If Van Gogh had been a foodie...

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Slava Ukraini!!

You'll need a locator beacon in the ball if you use a John Deere club.

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Made from the things on a scavenger hunt list.

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A lot of smokes get nicked down at the plant.

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Aside from his acting career, Wile E. Coyote moonlights for an insurance company.

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Smart food truck people listen for traffic jams on the radio and rake in the $ when they get to them.

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Slava Ukraini!!

Watermelon pickle? No - regular one under UV light.

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Endangered species - Save the Corvair!

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Back in the day you got freebie smokes with your coffee or tea on flights.

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"Houston, we're about to have a problem with re-entry!"

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"Tasty mammoth!"
"Actually, it's mastodon."
Caption: Homo correctus

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Slava Ukraini!!

"You don't look well at all, pal. I think it would help to come out and lay down for a while."

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"Okay, buff - hold it right there so I can nab a fish!"

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"Oh, this is embarrassing - dreamed I was a fruit bat again!"

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"There! Ate all the dog food so I better beat it before they let him out!"

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"You didn't pay attention at the job briefing - I told you one quack was come on back and TWO quacks meant stop right there!"

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Slava Ukraini!!

had a friend that was driving a corvair back in high school seemed pretty cool at the time as it was a lot newer than what we were driving then

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What's so funny about Peace Love and Understanding?

The family Sunday drive was quiet and peaceful... until little brother caught a bee.

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Radish farmers need low rider tractors in their fields.

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Door Dash and Uber Eats people can only take so much temptation. (it was supposedly delivered like this)

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"I'd trade you all these buns for 3 hot dogs with ketchup!"

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"You guys turn to the side before you stage the fight!" To make a good bear documentary, you need a bear co-producer.

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"ER Barbie" should be a required display at any place selling skate boards.

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Slava Ukraini!!

"They just put the brats on, but that's close enough for me!"

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"Ha! Hunters never think to look for us right by the house!" (This one's for you, Rebel49! )

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"Oh, yeah? Well, you're sporting quite a set of whiskers yourself, lady!"

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"Throw in a pound of bacon and I'll tell junior not to tear your kneecap off."

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Wind up, rubber band powered skateboard... I think.

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Slava Ukraini!!

There's a reason you don't see many of these.

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Not much good as a pillow but great for your couch cushion fort.

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This brand was discontinued due to customer complaints of splinters. (You do not want those splinters!)

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"I probably shouldn't have pounded down the entire bag of flaming hot Cheetos at one sitting.

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Cheap alternative to speed bumps.

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Bet you didn't know hipster seals like to grow a big 'stash.

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Slava Ukraini!!

Amish Masons can't have scooters or go karts for parades, so they do this.

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Voting booth - where you get to express your opinion of candidates.

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For Barbie stuff collectors, you can also get the seldom seen Barbie Voodoo kit.

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"His 3 fave hens just got the axe, so I'm helping ease his pain."

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Gamer spidey actually does well at competitions.

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Pigeon People of Papua New Guinea have a hard time acclimating to other countries and don't emigrate much.

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Slava Ukraini!!