Yesterday's Weapons Forums

"Dang! I left my pistol in the truck by mistake!"

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Love is - sharing a smoke with your sweetie.

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This only works if you have really good roads. It's also why 8 track players were invented.

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Nagging the taxi driver is never a good idea.

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Don't tease sharks - they take it personal!

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

Stork apartment complex.

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Anti-cat armor for mice.

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Cops searched for drugs? No - bears searched for snacks.

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In Victorian England, poison dart assassins were a thing.

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"You can be as mean as you want, I'm not selling you booze - you're too young!"

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

Camper with patio for playing horseshoes.

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"I don't know why people call sweet-n-sour sauce a condiment - it's good all by itself!"

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Australia doesn't have trash pandas - they have these instead.

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"Don't eat that, you little goof! It'll give you the poops again!"

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"YUCK! But it looked so good when they made it on the cooking channel!"

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"Tell the scam caller we're not interested in their vinyl siding!"

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"JUNIOR!!! Where'd you go? Darn kids never stay where you leave 'em!"

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This form of racing didn't last long - horses bite!

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"Pepsi? But I signed up for the new Fanta flavors test!"

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To paraphrase Homer - "Mmmmm - donuts!"

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"Oh, sure! We're here for the Lassie movie marathon, and it starts with Tom & Jerry cartoons!"

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"The helmet? I use it to bop fish when they try to grab me!"

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"...And I guess that's why they call it the bluuuuuuues!..."

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For some reason mushroom ketchup never really caught on.

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"It's too muddy to go scooting."
"No, it isn't!"

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Somebody else bought the scam package for mining bitcoins with cell phones while commuting. (it doesn't work!)

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When piranha are biting, it's well to have an armed guard.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"Can I have the head this time, Mom?"

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Despot drinks.

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"I only had four DUIs and now nobody will insure me!"

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For sale - rare Cadillac. Might need a good buffing and wax.

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You might have missed the mini-revolution in Mexico recently - it was a short conflict.

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The best way to deal with those fire ants you found in the back yard.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

_________________
"Ain't no Half-Way" -S.R.V.

"Oh Yeah!.....All Right!" -Paul Simon

Honest Amish used buggy lot. "No credit? No problem! I've got a buggy for you!"

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Early attempt at fresh soft drink routes.

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"Nooooooooooo!!!"

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Long lens clarity test.

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"No movies are casting for Oompa-Loompas or flying monkeys now, so we pick up work where we can."

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Punk rock turt.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

Trash pandas go bonkers for peanut butter Cap'n Crunch.

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If you deeply despise foam packing popcorn, it's well to not overly annoy your fellow workers.

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It sure looks like this guy passes bee hives on the commute to work.

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Probably a good idea to let somebody else drive the clown car!

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"A kilo of sauerkraut should be enough for the two of us tonight - better load me up with half a dozen pickles, too!"

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Mobile night light - kinda creepy but actually a good idea.

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From the early days of athlete endorsements... (no poison - you beat them to death!)

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

Argentine rodeos - be tough or stay home!

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"No - I'm not turning my disco music down! You can just fly to another park bench, stoopid pelican!"

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Oriental Thanksgiving entree.

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"Don't wig out, man - it was just onions!"

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Another early athlete endorsement. Apparently Chuck ruined a few pairs of regular denim jeans.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

_________________
"Ain't no Half-Way" -S.R.V.

"Oh Yeah!.....All Right!" -Paul Simon

"Dibs on the snails!"

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"Well, yeah, but that's still some good shooting, right?"

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"But... somebody on fake book said if a little soap is good, more is better!"

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"Fish again?? You said we could have burgers for a change!"

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"MOM!! Al was playing in your sewing stuff and almost poked his eye out! I told him not to, but he did anyway!"

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"Oh, yeah? Well, you're adopted!"

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Actually not a bad idea.

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You were watching that guy weld... you'll be lucky if you don't need a seeing eye squab!"

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"So... you gonna finish that?"

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"Sorry, man - while you were napping people kept blowing up your phone with scam calls, and I couldn't take it anymore!"

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A secret room - every house needs one.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

i like the secret room concept , had one in my first house - set it up with a rolling bookcase and used it as my darkroom back then , today it would be my gunroom ,

Heron tried to eat a snake that knows a few kung-fu moves.

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Pickles and peanut butter? I'd have to pass on that one.

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This will help with any sneaky vampires lurking in your 'hood.

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Chocolate covered brussel sprout prank.

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Looks like grandma and her sister got on her old man's LAST nerve!

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Adidas dancing pumps

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

Fish sammich for a seal - hold the mayo.

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Ambitious Uber Eats delivery people use robo legs to carry more food.

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The cure for family members getting into your unfinished pop.

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You can have pet rats - you can have a secret stash of money... you can't have pet rats AND a secret stash of money.

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"I just saved your brain cells from that nasty rap music. You can thank me later with bacon."

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"Yeah - we can change your oil, but you've overlooked a small detail..."

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"Dang! Overslept again - I'll be in serious trouble at work!"

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Looking for a job? The call center is hiring.

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Heckling bulls at a bull fight - keep in mind they're not in a good mood to begin with.

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"Bad news, pal - you've got a serious case of ear mites!"

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

Camel bling with bite guard.

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Washing up after going through - and eating - really smelly trash.

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This cabinet has been sealed for your protection.

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"Sweet! A four speed washer with attachment for baking bread!"

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Get your day off to a good start, ladies - wear glasses when putting on makeup.

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Nightmares - ducks have them, too.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"........Adidas dancing pumps............."

i was thinking the wicked witch of the west took up jogging

"Don't look, kids - this is the sad part where Bambi's mom gets shot!"

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You mom told you not to stand so close to the TV... but one step back, and you couldn't see anything on the screen.

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Available at pet shops now - golden piranhas.

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When you want a break from greasy burgers.

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"I spent all morning catching sardines for you and you won't eat??"

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Way cool ride, but how would you change a rear flat?

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!