Yesterday's Weapons Forums

Robo vacuums - robo lawn mowers - you knew a robo plow wasn't far behind.

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"So... you gonna finish that fish-wich?"

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Nuke plant spidey.

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"There! Got a decent selfie - now get a shot of me by that big steamer I just left!"

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"Yeah, I got a BB gun for Christmas - what about it?"

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"I hope you like the 3rd grade, kid - you're gonna be there a while!"

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V-dub's first attempt at a mini van.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"It's a magic trick, stoopid bird - I just turned *your* branch into *my* branch!"

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It's a closely guarded secret, but squills are furry little bacon addicts.

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All spiffed up for the turt dance.

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If you have a steady hand, you can do this pouring Pepsi and Mt Dew into the same glass. But I doubt it.

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"If you toss 3 croutons at once, bet'cha I can grab 'em before they hit the ground!"

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"Oh, don't wig out - Uncle Stumpy already has a wooden leg."

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Sanctions are hitting home in Mother Russia already - her sign sez, "No sugar".

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"I'm a real tick magnet for some reason, but I gots pals to help me with that."

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"Turn around and face the camera so we can do a group hug for our Christmas card pic."

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Cleaning between the toes is an important part of date prep.

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"Hey! I've seen that expression on your mug before, and you can't do that where we swim!"

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Eeeek!!

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"C'mon back - you forgot to put Cap'n Crunch in my turt kibbles again!"

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

After chewing a nice cud, Swiss cows like to yodel.

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Letting pets watch the Three Stooges... don't - they'll get ideas.

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For some reason cowboys don't call cigarettes fags.

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Yeah - I'd say they're about done.

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Off road bike racing - harder than it looks.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"Do sloths eat M&Ms? Give me a couple hours to climb down and I'll show ya!"

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Eeeeek!!

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World record for the most cords from one outlet. "Sure, a little smoke is normal."

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Robo-vacs and kids - not a good combination.

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Twin horns - cool. Head light - cool. Wide whitewall tires - cool. Continental kit - cool. Fake exhaust - I probably would have gone with a padded seat.

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When you can't afford a diesel pickup to pull your camper but your uncle has a junkyard...

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Pro tip for beginning cooks: if your meal ignites, it's probably close to done.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"Hey! Make room for me at the feed bunk or your ear's coming off!"

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Garden gnomes order donuts for meetings? No - just shrooms... and quickly forget what the meeting was about.

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Now in testing phase - a 100% effective organic alarm clock that doinks out eyebrow hair until you get up.

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When your ride bonks but you can't afford repairs.

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After messing with baboons don't go back - they hold grudges.

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New pet jewelry fashion trend in Europe.

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Can't stay awake at the office? This is for you!

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"Look, cats! A wonderful thing!" (Possum scam to nick some food.)

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

Original McRonald burgers were 15 cents. Add meat and real ketchup for 23 cents!

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"Time to find a bigger birdhouse."

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In the days before truth in advertising laws.

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Lots o' vitamins in those sparkles!

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"I wanna hunka-hunka mailman's leg..."

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Broccoli possum.

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Canned peas and mayo pizza? I'm not sure about that one.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"Sorry, I'm not a tick pecker - I just wanted a dry place to sit for a while."

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Nap buddies - yep, hedgehogs, too!

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Toilet down at the all you can eat cheap sushi place.

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Helping Grandpa with carpentry... if his breath smells funny - don't.

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Interesting theory, but it won't fix poison ivy itch.

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"Meh - close enough for me - it's coming out!"

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

funny we used to treat poison ivy with kerosene - but the we used calamine too ,

we were river camping .....we used to spend three day weekends on the river back then camping on islands , the neighbors had a chris craft cabin cruiser , we didnt stay on the boat , we would tent on the sand bars - big bonfires , smores and popcorn , hot dogs - but the folks had steaks on the charcoal grill ,
what worked for me back in the day was a long soak in the mississippi river , i had it really bad and after two days in that water i saw it nearly completely gone ...sorry for those drinking the water below clinton iowa back in the early 60s , hope your treatment plants were up to the task , i never had it that bad again and ive never had to soak it in the river again , but i live eight blocks from it if i ever do

Your safety tip for the day - always look carefully in both directions before crossing the road.

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"Stoopid bear! You got your butt parked right where I'm building a nest!"

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"This game's rigged! Aliens win every time... and I'm out of quarters!"

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Grandma and Aunt Edna getting buffed up for fist fights down at the bingo parlor.

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"No - you can't ride up front, Sheepie. The dog already called shotgun, and you always poop on the seat."

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Tired of getting cut off in traffic? There's a cure for that.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"If I can keep from tearing a hole in it, I'll just zip down to the pier for a Yoo-Hoo & jerky and bring it right back."

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"Found a double order of fries and you didn't save us any? Seriously?"

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"Seat belts? No - I've got to save weight."

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If you drive a diesel car, Greta will give you the stink eye!

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Gift idea for your fave preppy biker.

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Snoose cake - if you're not used to it, you'll get a bad case of hiccups.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

In kindergarten we learn to use scissors... and how to make Mom screech.

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Tulip field guard - on the job!

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"I really should try mayo on cottonwood sometime."

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Stoner Peeps.

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When the sign sez, "Fish Crossing - Slow Down" take it seriously!

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Advertising what they sell but couldn't spell 'miscellaneous merchandise'.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"I'm finally old enough to buy them legally!"

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DIY sushi kit before and after.

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"Say, pal - could you hand me down a mango, please?"

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Gen 1 calculator watch.

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"Is you is or is you ain't my baby..." (Baboon love)

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"I hope Mom doesn't forget the styling gel again."

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

A sammich worthy of the name!

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"Until I can fly, this is a cool way to get around."

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"So... got any wood you want chucked?"

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Things you never knew you needed - an ice cream cone caddy.

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This tourist attraction is a little too creepy for me!

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"While you two were monkeying around with selfies, I noticed you have a serious case of head lice!"

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Lunch room down at the bling factory.

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"Well, you said you were gonna drive it until the wheels fell off..."

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

Brick wall sculpture is truly a lost art.

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Extra cool camper puller.

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"I think we all overlooked something... which team are you on?"

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Another page from the book of really bad ideas.

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"...Her come old flat top - he come grooovin' up slowly..."

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Meanwhile, in Oz...

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90% of people observed took their first bite from the end for some reason.

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Don't let Stinkerbell see you loot the cookie jar - she'll rat you out!

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

This is why Dad won't loan you his ride.

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"There should be an actual law about trolling on fake book!"

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As soon as you can leave, buy a lottery ticket!!

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Some really good dogs come from cardboard boxes in a parking lot.

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An evil pie? Not for long!

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All cats have a secret money stash that you will never find.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"Okay, everybody - 10 more reps! Feel the burn!!"

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"You guys want to make a really interesting vid? Bring that obnoxious little kid over here."

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Rule #1 for shade tree mechanics: when in doubt, smack it a lick!

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"Oh dear, did I break wind?"

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No fish were harmed making this sushi.

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Mayo on spaghetti? Might have to try that sometime.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

"For dating sites, you need to look happy like you'd be fun on a date. Let's try again."

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If you have the wrong facial expression, your makeup just won't look right.

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Killing roaches... in Russia and Australia.

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Pringles are so popular in Japan you buy them by the meter. Squid flavor is big this year.

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Fashion purse?

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No - fashion cake!

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Lunch on the go!

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!

Hogger Take it from me the picture of the dill sushi, those are really tasty.
Rebel

_________________
"Like a tank with it's tracks blown off, my turret still swivels and my cannon fires, so whenever the fight kicks off, I'll likely live or die right there, where the fight begins and ends"
John Connor

Cat scooter gangs - good luck getting them to wear helmets!

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The face baboons make when they put that first pinch of snoose between their cheek and gum.

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It's Japan - those are real fish!

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Squills will swipe your flatware... mostly to stab bluejays.

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"Ummm… Dog, you're drooling again."

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"They're having fun playing tick pecker, but it's time to tell them they won't find any on my tongue!"

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Something different for you foodies - spicy chocolate chicken!

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No? Then how 'bout ham and bananas Hollandaise?

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I guess this is one way to keep your bread from getting squished when you go hiking.

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_________________
Slava Ukraini!!