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Hello again, friends! What a day I have had at the Women's Hospital and Prison! There has been an outbreak of boils in the area of my medical specialty and I lanced many of them today.
As well you can imagine, this is very painful and anesthetics are in short supply for those in a prison. I had to bring in my two Pathan midwives to help restrain the infortunate women in need of that procedure. The wild screams nearly cracked the plaster!
But enough of that. Mr Pete has offered the suggestion that I sell a kidney to buy firearms. That is a most excellent recommendation, and I have considered it, but the outlaw Usama bin Laden has had kidney disease. He took dialysis in France, I believe. It is also widely rumored he had had one removed.
With this in mind, his remaining kidney would quickly be recognized as unfit by any surgeon and it would scarcely pay for the removal. I suppose other of his organs could be sold, but if one is diseased, the others are very often considered tainted. Sell his heart? It is so small, hard and black it would be worth little. ( Forgive me - I try to make a small joke but it does not come out right)
Another gentleman asked after my hunting stories. Sadly, I have none. There is little game in this densely populated part of India. I assume rats do not count. In the villages, there is sometimes held a 'rat killing' but this is carried out with clubs instead of fire arms. A good many rats are always killed, but a good many toes are also smashed in the process! One has to step lively at a rat killing, let me tell you!
One could always hunt the cobra out in the tea plantations but the most religious of the Hindus will not allow it. Just as well, I suppose.
I perceive my dear sister, Pateela has not been a hit. Well, with the lovely specimens to be found in America, I suppose she should have anticipated this. I have another sister, Gupteela but she is not so attractive. I have included a photo of her in her rock garden. She does not resemble me so much, and it has been hinted that my sainted mother might have dallied with a wild Pathan tribesman. This is a lie, and if I would ever hear someone utter thise words, we would have a fight! And I am not a violent man at all!
You will also notice she is badly in need of having her eyebrows combed for fleas. She has said she had a bad experience with my great uncle - the hemp smoker shown - and she will not allow anyone to touch her now. Her eyebrows, I mean. It seems that great uncle was intoxicated on hemp when he tried to comb her eyebrows and removed very much of the hair upon her head in the process. She scratched him badly with her finger and toenails, but he was so intoxicated, he felt nothing.
Friends, please trust me when I say smoking the hemp can come to no good!
Gupteela would like to meet a nice man, but I fear her chances are poor in that regard. If she would try to sell iPods for me, she might meet someone that way... would any of you gentlemen like to 'break the ice' for her and purchase something to help build her confidence? I promise you the very lowest of prices!
I am not trying to arrange a 'social meeting'! Far from it as she bites on the first "date". And transmits fleas.
Poor wretch!
That is all for now. I must try to sleep for I have 5 more genital boils to lance tomorrow and I fear a fight to accomplish that.
You servant and source for all personal electronic devices,
Dr Patel Gupta
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कमख़र्ची दौलत लक्षण उभरने लगते हैं।पहले कनपटी ( Thrift begets wealth)
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